This 2-in-1 Jar Is the Sweetest Party Activity That Doubles as a Gift

I remember attending a friend’s graduation party a few years ago. Like me, she had just completed her undergraduate degree in psychology. As the night went on, I kept hearing guests ask her, “What’s next for you? Do you have a job yet? What are you going to do with that psychology degree?” Even though their questions weren’t directed at me, I couldn’t help but feel like they were glossing over a major milestone for both of us. I thought she should be plied with sentimental gifts, rather than questions about her next steps. 

My friend had just hit a major goal — graduating college! — and yet people were already asking her what was next. It taught me that congratulating and celebrating someone means wholeheartedly showing your joy for where they are in the moment. Now when it’s my turn to host, I try to create a more celebratory atmosphere and uplift the guest of honor with something I like to call a “joy jar.”

It’s simple. Basically, a joy jar involves putting out pens and pieces of colored paper and inviting guests to write a thoughtful note (or two) to the person you’re celebrating. The goal is to fill a jar with these positive, affirming messages that you can then give to the guest of honor. It’s like a pep talk they can take home with them. 

Hosting a party for someone can be a gift in and of itself — especially when you consider the planning, food, and decorations. But I love gifting joy jars because it’s a really simple way of doing something extra-special for your guest of honor that doesn’t require a lot of time or money on top of the stress of hosting.

Joy jars work for different occasions, from graduation and retirement parties to bridal showers, baby showers, and birthday parties. It helps if you pick a theme, such as words of gratitude, favorite memories, well wishes, or motivational quotes. Make sure it’s light, uplifting, or congratulatory. In other words, no questions about their five-year plan and no unsolicited advice about work, marriage, or parenting. 

I realize that guests will be guests, and you can’t control what other people do — even if that means peppering someone with questions or doling out life advice. Still, I feel like there is something I can do, as a host, to set the tone for the party. And that starts with letting people know about the joy jar when they arrive, including the guest of honor. That way, it doesn’t look like we’re passing notes behind their back.

I find that asking people to write something encourages them to be more reflective. It’s an opportunity to think about why we’re all here celebrating someone important to us. Plus, setting up a little station with colorful paper can blend into any theme and doubles as decorations.  

A joy jar doesn’t have to be a jar. It could be a decorative bowl or vase. In fact, I find it works better if you collect the messages in one container and then transfer them to another more giftable container, like a pretty vase that your friend can take home with them. This adds to the gift, along with reading the messages. 

As an introvert, I also find that a joy jar is a great way to celebrate someone who doesn’t love being the center of attention. I know the feeling of panic and overwhelm when everyone is singing “Happy Birthday” to you, or putting you on the spot to make a speech. Because they get to take the joy jar home, it allows them to slow things down and enjoy reading these messages at their own pace, which is a gift for any introvert too.

All in all, it’s a nice, affordable, and sweet way to give an extra gift to someone you love. And no matter what happens, they can return to these nice notes again and again, remembering the support and love they felt on that day.