This “Golden Rule” of Touring Homes Is Disappearing — Here’s What’s Replacing It

For the first few months of 2025, my husband and I toured homes in Chicago on a mission to purchase a bungalow in a neighborhood we love. We eventually found the perfect house (and just moved in last week!), but I’ll be honest — there was one part of the homebuying process that was a little unusual. This time around (I’ve been on the market before), home sellers stayed in the houses as we were touring them. 

While it was awkward and something we’ve never seen before, my husband and I were able to make it work to our advantage. After we closed on our house, though, I asked real estate pros if this was a new reality for home buyers everywhere. Here’s what I learned from them and our own experiences of homebuying.

With the exception of one home out of the 10 or so we toured, the sellers chose to remain in the home for the showing. Or, if they had tenants, they did not tell the tenants to leave. 

This was new to me. As a buyer, I’d prefer to have the home empty when I’m touring it. I want to be able to speak freely to my agent about the home itself, look around without being tracked, and see if things like the shower and air conditioner work without feeling like I need to ask permission to do so. I don’t feel comfortable doing any of those things with a seller in the home I’m looking at.

But not only is that my preference, it also used to be the golden rule of showing homes. I’ve done a lot of house tours in my time. When my siblings and I were younger, my parents decided to move us all and I toured homes with them. My mom and I enjoy touring homes for sale together just for the fun of it. And when I bought my first home, I must have looked at 20 or 30 houses. 

Until this purchase, I have never seen sellers staying in the home during showings. It was the expectation of any home showing: The sellers have to leave. Apparently not anymore, though, and the pros agree.

I spoke to 15 real estate agents to get their take on this home showing phenomenon. At least a dozen of them have seen this trend firsthand — and all 15 of them don’t approve of it. (I could even see my own agent bristling every time we showed up at a house with someone still home.)

So why aren’t they leaving? It has a lot to do with anxiety. “Between economic uncertainty, privacy concerns, and just plain old social weirdness post-COVID-19, more folks are hesitant to leave strangers alone in their homes,” says Carla Gericke, a New Hampshire agent at Porcupine Real Estate. “Some sellers worry about theft. Some want to sell it themselves, thinking they can help by pointing out upgrades or charming the buyers with personal stories. And some just don’t want the hassle of coordinating a dog, three kids, and their Roomba every time someone wants to peek in a closet.”

There’s also a feeling right now, with all the work-from-home jobs, that sellers shouldn’t have to leave. They do everything else from home, so why would they vacate for this? Unfortunately for the sellers, they’re more than likely doing themselves a disservice by staying in the house. Just as I wanted space and privacy to look around on my own, so do other buyers.

“When the seller is hovering, it’s like trying to try on clothes with the salesperson in the dressing room,” Gericke says. “It gets awkward fast. Buyers won’t linger or speak freely about what they like or don’t like, which makes it harder for the agent to get feedback. And worst of all? Sellers often over-explain or, worse, oversell. That’s the kiss of death. If the buyer feels pressured, they might bolt.”

Gericke thinks the trend might be here to stay, especially in markets where the sellers feel they have more control, or even if they’re just too stubborn to leave. For my home search, that means I needed to adapt.

My first instinct when I’m in an uncomfortable situation is to just be as polite as possible. So I did that. I introduced myself to sellers, I asked them questions about their home, and I let them lead me around the house. Essentially, I pretended they were the seller’s agent.

In the home we ended up buying, the couple living here was incredibly house proud. We didn’t have a moment to ourselves during the showing. One of them led us through the house like a tour guide, showing all the things he built himself and all his favorite parts of the home (like the basement bathroom with bright red walls, which he called “the sexy bathroom”). His wife stayed upstairs but regularly offered us coffee, tea, and cookies, and we spent a bit of time casually chatting about our lives.

“Sometimes, their presence helps when buyers have very specific questions,” Gericke says.“‘Is that wall load-bearing?’ ‘What’s the story with that 1970s bomb shelter under the garage?’ That sort of thing.”

Ultimately, the sellers told our agent that they chose us to purchase the home because we were kind, let them stay, and had nice conversations with us. I would encourage all buyers to approach home showings this way — being polite and allowing the sellers to guide you through if they’d like to. If you want to arrange a showing without them there, communicate that to your agent after the showing and let them arrange it for you.